The Understanding of Angel Wings
by Bliss in the Other
Summary: Hello, my name is Alison Grey. I was born into a happy family. When mom died three years ago, that changed. Dad's getting more violent and to top matters off Snape knows. SS/OC rated for rape, incest, and language. Please review!
1. Shoulder pain

The usual blah, blah, blah about not owning any of the characters except Alison. Has rape, language, incest, and all the usual stuff that makes people read these things.

**THE UNDERSTANDING OF ANGEL WINGS  
**

Setting- Alison is six years older that HP so this is the year before he comes to school.

Pairings- Severus Snape & Alison Grey

Warnings- Spoilers, rape, sex, incest, language, blah, blah, blah.

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

_**The Beginning of Everything**_

Severus Snape was sitting in his chair at the staff table. He never paid much attention to the first years being sorted, unless, of course, he heard the name of his own house called out. His scanned the crowd, searching for any obvious Slytherins. A very small girl caught his eye. She was staring at him. That was a first. Most first years were afraid of him, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

But this girl looked at nothing but him. Her eyes seeing through him in the way that Albus Dumbledore's eyes had always done. Instead of Albus's blue eyes though, hers were white. Not blind white, but like a ring of black around bone. Her gaze never wavered.

Severus looked away as she was called to be sorted. As if through a tunnel he heard the hat's voice.

"Ravenclaw!"

_**The summer before 5**__**th**__** year**_

On top of me my father, thrust in harder and harder. He rotated between squeazing my breasts, my ass, and slapping me hard enough to put spots in my vision. I had learned to stop fighting a couple years ago, but I still hated the bastard. As he gave off a guttural yell of release I closed my eyes. Three more days. Just three and I would be safe, for at least a little while.

_**5**__**th**__** year**_

I roamed through various cabins as the train rolled along. My best friend Theo gave me a sarcastic look as some third year boys walked past us wolf whistling. We worked our way through the crowd. We found a cabin towards the middle of the train and sat down. Theo and I ruled this school. We were the Queen Bitches and had been since second third year. I was in love with this school. I was loved here, I was happy here, and as long as I kept my home life secret, I could do whatever I wanted here. Theo was the only one that I would tell _that_ to.

"It happened again this summer didn't it, Al? God, you have to tell someone about this." We'd been friends since birth practically. I was thankful for that, it meant that we weren't just friends for image.

"Of course it did. And who would I tell? Dumbledore? He'd just try to be my therapist then go secretly kill my dad. And I can't imagine anyone else who would be able to stand a chance against my dad. Snape maybe, but that bastard wouldn't do a thing. Probably just laugh and say I deserved it." I hadn't left Snape alone since my first year. I made sure to always annoy the hell out of him _and_ get good grades to piss him off even more.

"How are you going to deal with this then? You can't keep going on like this. You know he'll make you come back for holiday. Al, he's treating you even worse. I can see the bruises through your shirt." I looked down at my white tank top. Sure enough bruises spreading out from under my bra were visible though the shirt.

"I'll find a way, Theo. I just have to last long enough to come of age-"

"But that's two years from now! He could kill you by then! I do not want to spend my time finding something to wear to your funeral." I moved from my seat to curl up next to her. Even though I was actually three months older than she was, I had always been really small. She was at least five ten, maybe five eleven. I was five three, with no meat on my bones from practically being starved to death all summer.

She pulled me to her lap and I fell asleep with her humming softly. I didn't wake up until we came to school.

* * *

I sat next to Theo at the seats we had claimed in our first year. We were surrounded by boys in all years and a couple hopeless wanna-bes, none of which had any chance. Dumbledore gave his usual blah speech and everyone dug in. I never had to watch what I ate; I always burned the calories off within a few hours. As I reached for some strawberries, something at the head table caught my eye. Well, rather someone. Snape was obviously sneaking glances in my direction. He really was terrible at hiding it. I flipped him the bird when he next looked and I could almost see the steam blowing out his ears. Nothing to take the mind off rape/incest like bugging the shit out of Snape.

Theo winked at me. She already had a couple of hotties attached to her arms. She was putting me to shame! I lowered my eyelids and leaned forward over the table showing off what nature had given me. I hoped that I had put on enough cover up to hide the bruises and cuts.

The next morning I was the first up in my dorm. I made myself look my best and headed down to breakfast before Theo, Amber, Shellsea, or Yvette had even woken up. I took my seat and surveyed the almost empty Great Hall. No sane person would be up this early. A few of the Weasleys, some random Slytherin bitches, and some Hufflepuff creeps. And of course it's just my luck that Snape was insane, too. He sat at the staff table "reading" the Daily Prophet. Must be a really _interesting_ article. Our head of house walked into the hall rather clumsily, and made a bee line for me.

"Miss Grey, your schedule. Have a good day, young lady." Double Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology, lunch, OH FUCK! Double Potions to end the day. That'll be interesting.

As more kids filtered into breakfast, I risked a glance at Snape. He was openly staring at me.

Theo and I walked into the dungeon class room like goddesses. After a day in school we looked messy, rugged, and hotter than anything this school had ever seen. We definitely turned heads. Surprise, surprise, Snape was one of them. Greasy git. My curly black hair bounced wildly as I walked to the back of the class room. Rule number one for popularity: Position yourself where it'll be obvious to see who's watching you. Snape used the excuse of glaring at me to check me out. Just to see his reaction I dropped my pencil next to my desk as he stalked by. I made sure to take extra long picking it up. As I sat back down Theo and I giggled to each other. I could always trust her to understand everything I did.

All through the incredibly boring lesson I made sure to catch Snape every time he looked at me. Which was a lot. I probably should have just watched him the whole time but I had to make sure that I didn't leave out any of the eye candy that was in this class. When it was time for us to start brewing an incredibly boring potion, I looked around the class again. Off in a corner, I could see trouble brewing. A Hufflepuff had already messed his potion up enough to create an explosion big enough to blow up half the castle. As if in slow motion I watched Snape walk over to him with an evil grin that reminded me of…that reminded me of my father.

"What on Earth do you think you are doing, boy? I told you to put the lace wing flies in _after_ the bicorn horn! Then you put the porcupine quills in and stir _three _counter clockwise, six clockwise, and nine counter clo-"

"God, Professor, could you be a bit more hostile? He just needs help! That's what you're supposed to do. You _are_ a teacher!" I stood from my stool and walked briskly over to the cauldron. I added the right amount of Monkshood to counter the potion and glared at Snape before I returned to my seat.

"Miss Grey, you will see me after class to discuss your detention. You are not off to a good start, Miss Grey." The bell rang a while later and I told Theo to go ahead of me.

"When, where, and with who?" I gave him a cold, bored look as he sat haughtily behind his desk.

"You are to serve it with me, at seven o'clock tonight. At that time please report here." I nodded curtly and left.

* * *

I fumed as I walked up to the common room. I couldn't believe that on my first day I had a detention with Snape. I answered the stupid riddle that was the password to my house. Inside there was practically no one. Who would be back from dinner this early anyway? No one with detention that was for sure. I wouldn't have minded as much had it not been for the way he kept looking at me. Usually I tried to get detention so that I could drive him insane, but I it'll probably go the other way tonight. Dammit!

I finished the little homework that I had, and watched the clock count down until six fifty-five, then I headed down to the dungeons. As I knocked on his door, Snape called out for me to enter. Inside I had to blink a few times before I got used to what I was seeing. Snape…without his black robes…in plain black pants and a button down, white shirt. What universe had I come into?

"Oh, yes, Miss Grey as you can see I am very busy brewing and it is a particularly difficult potion, so you will make sure to stay quiet." God, why does everything this man say sound like an innuendo? "You will be putting these ingredients back into my private store," what the hell? "They should all be in the right order, understood?"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees…"

"Miss Grey, the fact that I am not in my teaching attire does not dismiss the formality between us. '_Yes_', what?" Oh. My. God. The man is so fucking conceited! How can he possibly think that I don't know he is dressed like that on purpose? Though it does suit him…

"Yes, _sir_. I'll try not to breathe, _Professor_ Snape." He rolled his eyes and went back to filtering powdered unicorn horn. I stepped into the store cupboard. I worked for at least ten minutes before the silence started to get to me. I started to sing under my breath. For the last couple years I've been on a Beatles kick. I kept putting away jars and boxes of ingredients as I sang _Across the Universe_. I turned to get another jar and noticed Snape standing in the door way.

"Yes, professor?"

"Just making sure that you were putting everything back right."

"You get serenaded by students often?"

"More often than you would expect."

"I can't tell whether that's disturbing or hilarious."

"Neither can I, but I'm sure my reasons are different." I suddenly realized what I was doing. I was having a normal friendly conversation. With _Severus Snape_. What the hell was wrong with me? He seemed to notice what he was doing as well, but he didn't leave the door way.

"What do you need, sir?"

"This." He walked up to me and reached up, over my head. His body surrounded me and I started to panick. I knew that he was just reaching for a jar, but I was so familiar with being surrounded, with feeling small, with feeling violated. I shrank down into a tiny ball on the floor, making myself as small as possible. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was in danger. Snape was so much bigger than me, stronger than me, and I knew what he could do with a few simple spells.

"Miss Grey?" I couldn't look up at him at all. I was pressing my back harder and harder against the wall behind me.

"Miss Grey what is it? Are you alright? What can I do?" Why is he being so nice to me? He's never been nice to me. If anything he's worse to me than he is to any of the other students!

"Please, Miss Grey…" I looked up at him over my arms that I was using to cover my face. He was crouching down next to me and looked like he didn't know what to do. That was a first…

"Can you move back please?" He stood up and moved so that he was almost out of the small room.

"What is it, Miss Grey? Are you hurt?" I chose my words carefully and stood up.

"I'm…_going_ to be alright. You can go back to brewing, Professor." He gave me a strange look and walked back over to his cauldron. I shakily moved to pick up another jar of ingredients. I looked at the label and saw that it was supposed to be placed on a high shelf. I moved the ladder over to where I needed it and climbed up. Even with the ladder I still had to reach really high. All the sudden a screaming pain shot down from my shoulder. I dropped the jar and fell off of the ladder. I hit the ground hard which made a loud snap come from my same shoulder. I screamed from the pain that was tearing into me from my shoulder. I barely registered that Snape had come back into the room. He lifted me from the floor and brought me to the outer room.

"Miss Grey! Miss Grey look at me! Do you want me to take you to the hospital wing? Or do you want me to deal with this here?"

"Here." I choked it out through my tears.

"Okay you need to calm down and listen to me. What is it that snapped?"

"M-my shoulder." The pain was making it hard to focus on his face, but his voice ran crystal clear through my mind. I never noticed how nice it sounded before.

"Okay I'll need to look at it to see what the problem is. Turn around and pull your shirt off of your shoulder. Do you understand?" I was shaking hard, and it only got worse when I thought of having part of me bare in front of an older man. I turned anyway and unbuttoned my shirt as best I could. I pulled it off of my shoulder.

I gasped as he pressed his hands to the spot where the pain seemed to be coming from. I cried out as his warm hands traced along the line of my shoulder blade. Then his hands were gone and I could hear his footsteps as he went to get something. I lowered my head and just cried. About my dad. About my shoulder. About my mom. About my whole fucking life! How the hell did I end up here? Crying to Severus Snape in a freezing dungeon about a shoulder injury that I probably got from the times that my own father raped me. Talk about depressing.

Snape returned and sat down in front of me holding out a bottle of greyish blue potion. I looked up at him quizzically before I took it and drank it down. Instantly I felt the pain in my shoulder go down. Snape handed me a tissue and I accepted it. Wiping my tears away helped me to see better. I looked at Snape's eyes and saw not pity exactly, but protectiveness.

"You didn't get that just from that fall. Do you want to tell me how you got it?"

"No, but you would just force feed me Veritaserum and have me tell you anyway."

"No I wouldn't. You have a right to keep your life to yourself."

"Stop making me want to tell you." I didn't know what the potion was doing to my mind, but I decided that I might as well go along with it.

"Who did this to you? I can protect you. It's my duty as your teacher to make sure you don't get harmed." He put his hand over my knee, and then thought better of it when I almost jumped out of my seat.

"It was my dad." I looked down, but he brought my chin back up with the tips of his fingers.

"Has he been beating you like this all summer?"

"He's been raping me for the last couple years, but it started getting more violent this summer." I started to cry again and he put his hands on the sides of my face, to keep my focus. It wasn't working, though. I kept going back to those nights when Dad would come into my room, already naked, and crawl under my sheets. Then he would say how he wouldn't hurt me. How I was a good girl. How I was _his_ special girl. He would move his hands up my pj shirt and squeeze my breasts hard enough for them to bruise almost instantly. Then he would remove my shirt, and my pants and start beating me senseless, in time with every thrust.

"Focus on me, Alison. Focus on _me_. _I_ am what is real. You are safe. You are in Hogwarts castle. He can't get you here." Snape voice cut through my mind like a knife. I snapped my head back to look at him. His black hair. His black eyes. His pale skin. His broad shoulders, strong arms. I stopped crying again. Had he really just called me by my first name?

"Do you want me to get Dumbledore?" I shook my head.

"Can I have some water, sir?" He got up and went out to another room. When he came back he carried to glasses of water, one of which he handed to me.

"What is it you would like me to do, Al-Miss Grey?"

"My name is Alison! I don't need your fucking help!" My yell rang from the walls. I stood from my chair and left the dungeon. I ran back up to Ravenclaw tower and into the dormitory. I was thankful that everyone was either asleep or still out sneaking about the castle. Except Theo, of course. She sat up in her bed when I walked through the door.

"What happened, Al? What did he do to you?" She beckoned for me to come sit on her bed.

"I told him, Theo! I can't believe I told him." I whispered back to her.

"Did he make you tell him? Probably poisoned you…I'll get the bastard."

"He didn't poison me. I was sorting ingredients for him and when I had to climb on the ladder my shoulder hurt and I fell and hit my shoulder on the floor and he fixed my shoulder and he asked me how I got hurt, because he knew that it wasn't just from the fall and-and-"

"Calm down Al! You're okay now. I've got you. We can deal with things later." She rocked me to sleep in her arms.

* * *

A/N- Like it? Hate it? Please review!!! Should have another chapter soon.


	2. Rescued Holiday

Chapter two

_A/N – Obviously the asking for reviews does not work. that leaves me with two choices._

_Command as supreme ruler… REVIEW NOW OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!!! YOUR EYES WILL BOIL, YOUR TONGUE WILL EXPLODE, AND OTHER HORRIBLE STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF!!!_

_Begging/Bribery…PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER! I NEED REVIEWS! _

_And yes, I know this is short…well shorter._

_

* * *

_

Weeks went by that turned into months. Nothing much happened really, Snape and I acted as though that night had never happened. We both just gave each other hell as usual. I was my normal self for a long time. At least until the last week before Christmas holiday. I sat at the Ravenclaw table for breakfast. My boyfriend-of-the-week sat to my left, looking like he had won the Tri-Wizard Tournament, and Theo on my right. I watched the owls fly overhead, spotting my father's brown bird immediately. It flew towards me, screeching wildly, until it landed gracefully in the porridge across the table. I took the letter from its leg and gave it a bit of bacon before shooing it off. I opened the letter carefully, and began reading what I knew was invisible ink to anyone else.

_Dear Alison,_

_How has your year been so far my dear? You haven't been a good girl! You are supposed to write to your father. Well, we'll have plenty of time to catch up when you return home for the holiday. And you will return my dear, or your summer will be spent behind bars._

_~Your master _

I folded the letter back up and crammed it inside my pocket. He was right. I would go home for the holiday. No, not home. I would go to that house for the holiday. That house in the field, where no one can hear me scream. I looked up and surveyed the room. Of course there were people looking at me. There were always people looking at me. And once again Snape was looking at me. I looked at him for a long time, then stood and left.

* * *

I went through the week like a dream. Doing nothing but what was habit. Nothing but reflex. I packed for the trip back, mounted the train, sat with Theo. She didn't force me to talk, to think, to act.

As I got off the train, I looked around at the people going back to their families. Lucky bastards. My dad walked up to me and gave me a too sweet hug. He said nothing as he pulled me to the car, and drove me back out to where we lived. I tried not to think for the next couple days

I sat down in the tall grass outside. It was freezing, and I was practically half naked, but at least my dad wasn't out here. I looked up at the sunset, and watched as it danced below the horizon. It never bothered me because it was dark, the dark was never worse than the light. If anything it was better. Dad went to sleep as soon as it was dark.

I heard a rustle in the tall grass and turned around. Who else should I see walking towards me but Severus Snape? How the hell does that bastard know where I live?

"What are you doing here, Professor?" He looked back and forth between me and the house.

"I'm here to talk to your father about taking you back to Hogwarts, for the remainder of the holiday." I stood up.

"And why would you be doing that?"

"It was what Professor Dumbledore wished. Where is your father?"

"I'll take you to him." I walked over to the house and pulled open the door. I could feel him behind me as I walked up the stairs and down the hall. I knocked on my father's door and he called enter.

"Ah my dear, who is this?"

"This is Professor Snape. He said that he came because Professor Dumbledore wants me to return to Hogwarts for the holiday." I spoke louder than necessary to keep myself from crying.

"Why would Professor Dumbledore want you to return, dear?" I looked him straight in the eyes, refusing to back down. I knew that I was leaving tonight, and I knew that I was never coming back.

"Professor Dumbledore would like Miss Grey to assist him with a project that he is working on. Obviously, being that he is Albus Dumbldore, you will understand why I can't divulge what that project may be." I must say, the man knew how to shut people up.

"Dear, go pack your things. I will see you next holiday." I turned around and fled to my room. I just grabbed randomly and through it into my suit case. I met Snape back outside and we walked fast from the house. He apparated the both of us and my case away to a small street.

"Do I actually have to go back to school?"

"Do you find it that unpleasant?"

"No, but Theo won't be there and people would probably think bad things about me coming back three days into break."

"Could you stay with a friend?"

"No, Theo has a big family and none of my other friends went back to their homes."

"There is another option. Professor Dumbledore has given me the liberty of taking the holiday off and there are plenty of extra rooms in my house."

"Is that quite appropriate?" This was getting rather weird. I wasn't sure whether or not my image was worth staying with Snape.

"It's not like we'll be sharing a bed, Miss Gr-"

"My name is Alison. If I'm going to be staying with you then you won't be calling me by my father's name."

"So you will be staying with me for the holiday?" I could see clear hope behind his eyes. For some reason, that made me happy. He really was a lot younger than people thought. Twenty five at most.

"Yes, Professor. Can we go now? This case is heavy." He gave me the smallest smile possible, and took my hand to apparate us to his house. When my mind cleared, I looked around. The building in front of me was very dark. So were the surroundings. They didn't suit him. Well, actually they did, but something about him was different to me now. He seemed brighter.

"Are you coming, Alison?" His voice favored my name. "Here I'll get that." He took the handle of my suit case and led me into the house. I looked around, studying everything. The inside looked mostly like the outside, dark and uninviting. The walls were covered in peeling paint, glaring portraits hung everywhere. I could just smell the faintest hint of vanilla candles. That was strange, I loved vanilla.

"The bedrooms are upstairs." He had a huge smile on his face, not something I had ever seen before. He gestured towards the stairs, almost loosing the suit case as he did so. What was up with this guy? He was acting like some love-struck little boy. NO! No way…that's not possible.

I walked up the stairs after him and followed him down the hall to where he stopped outside a room that was different from the others, the walls were a light baby blue and the furniture was all different colours. Pink, white, yellow, orange, green.

"Where did all this come from?" He stood there smiling at me.

"I had a cousin on my mother's side that stayed with us for a few years. She insisted on decorating the place." He walked over to the curtains that were a light lilac. He rubbed the silk between his fingers and lost himself in thought.

"It's lovely, Professor." He looked back at me and smiled distantly.

"Call me Severus. My room is the last down the hall if you need anything." I reached out for him as he turned to leave. When I caught his arm he turned back around.

"Thank you, Severus." I looked him back in the eyes, and he smiled back at me again.

"You're welcome, Alison."


	3. The History of Wings

Chapter three- The History of Wings

When I woke up at three in the afternoon the next day I had absolutely no idea where I was. I climbed down from the bed and took in my surroundings. When had I changed into pjs? I walked to the door and cracked it open just the smallest amount. I looked out onto a long hallway, and seeing no one, left the room.

"Alison, good morning! Or, afternoon, actually." I gave a loud yelp of surprise and turned around. I backed up a little and ended up pressed against a wall.

"Where am I? Professor Snape what's going on?" I really had no idea what was happening. I couldn't remember anything from the last night. And why is he calling me Alison?

"What do you mean?" He had a dejected look that I knew I didn't like there. Wait, when had that changed?

"Professor. Where. Am. I?"

"Yesterday, I went to your house and took you from your father. You decided to stay here for the rest of the holiday, then I brought you here and you fell asleep." All of the events of yesterday came flooding back to me. And then I was tired…just…so…tired. All I can remember is that Sna- No, that Severus, caught me.

* * *

The next time I woke up it was mid-night.

"Severus! Severus, where are you?" He appeared next to me, sitting in a chair positioned next to the bed.

"Can you be any louder? What's wrong?" He put his hand over mine and looked at me with kindness in his eyes.

"I'm so confused! I don't know what's going on anymore. How on Earth did I get to this point?"

"This seems rather repetitive. You w-"

"No, I know how I got _here_. I just can't understand why my life is just so fucked up all of the sudden!" He chuckled a little, and then looked up at me again. "What do you find funny about this?"

"You are the Hogwarts Queen. You could do anything you want in school. You were not a force to be messed with. You say that your life is so fucked up, yet you are stronger than anyone your age. You never seem week at all." Since when does he think things like this about me?

"How would you know, Severus? You never gave a rat's ass about me unless I was giving you hell. You treated me worse than every other student. At least you didn't hate them." He looked away. His hand was still on mine.

"Well, I guess you must be right then. There's no way that the big bad potions professor could care about his students. It's not like he has emotions. So just ignoring the fact that I would never invite someone that I hated into my own home, I must hate you!" I wasn't fazed by his anger. Anger was all I was used to. It was all that I could deal with. He stood up, taking his hand off of mine. NO! I couldn't be alone…not again. He turned around and was halfway to the door when I jumped up behind him and grabbed onto his robes.

"Please don't go. I don't want to be alone. I'll be a good girl. No more yelling. I'll do whatever you want, just please don't leave. I don't want to be alone." My voice broke and tears came pouring down my face as I continued to hold onto his back. I was terrified of being alone; it wasn't what I was used to. He turned back around and I held on tighter. He was a good foot taller than me.

"Don't say that, please. I am not your father. You are safe here. I won't leave you." He scooped me up and into his arms. It really did feel safe there. He took me back to the bed and put me under the covers. He held my hand again as he sat back down in his chair. I was exhausted.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, feeling better than I had in three years. Safety wasn't something I was used to. I climbed down from the bed stretching and yawning. The sunlight streamed through the gap between the curtains, dancing across the floor in flittering patterns. I walked out the room and down the hall, moving towards the bathroom. I opened the door and…

Severus…Snape…towel…wet…shit!

"Alison! Do you mind?" He tried to grab another towel, but ended up slipping on the wet floor and landing on his ass. I remembered a similar incident, from the summer, when I had walked in on my dad. He had slipped as well, and then when he came out he was so mad that he beat me half to death again. I backed up and out of the room. Memories filled my head and I couldn't think straight as I hurdled back to my room.

Moments later a knock came at my door. I started to shudder and curled up into a little ball.

"Alison, please open the door. It's okay, Alison. It's okay." His voice was low. I looked out over my arms at the door.

"It's not locked." I looked away again as the door swung open. I listened to his soft, easy footsteps as he came closer to where I was curled up between the dresser and closet.

"Alison…"

"I walked in on my dad once. When I woke up it was three days later." He inhaled sharply and I looked up at him. His body pulsed with emotion. Anger looked dominant. I squeezed back farther between the furniture, trying to make myself smaller and smaller. Severus looked down at me and the anger melted away. What is with this dude?

"Alison, I will protect you. He won't come anywhere near you. Not again." He crouched down in front of me and reached out. I shoved my hands at him and he fell back on his ass again.

"Please, just don't touch me. I won't do it again, I promise." He stared at me in surprise. Then he looked at his hands.

"I didn't mean anything…I'm sorry I just didn't know…what I was doing." God, why was I freaking out? I knew that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me, but some instinct that had been drilled into me said that I shouldn't trust anything stronger than me. I crawled out from between the wooden furniture and moved towards Severus. He looked at me quizzically, before straightening up.

"Severus…" I stopped just in front of him, looking him straight in the eyes. Suddenly my stomach growled loudly and I looked down.

"Come on Alison. Let's go get some breakfast."

* * *

Days went by. Severus and I became friends, well more or less and I had started getting used to being around him. We could even have contact without me having a heart attack. But he was still stronger than me. And he could still hurt me.

I had been sitting on Severus's back porch thinking for the last two hours. There wasn't really anything in particular that I was thinking about, more like I was thinking of everything at the same time. About my dad, my mom, Severus, me, and for some reason my tattoo. The sun had long set when Severus came out and sat down next to me. He handed me some hot coffee. Black, just the way I like it.

"What have you been thinking about?" He sipped his coffee.

"Everything. I know nothing about you, but you know so much about me. I want to ask you some things." I didn't look at him. It was nice not having to look at people when I talked. Severus understood that. He said it was because I had forgotten what people really were. He always makes so much sense.

"Fire away, Alison." He sipped his coffee again.

"Have you ever been in love?" I took a big gulp of coffee.

"Once. A long time ago. She died a couple years ago."

"What was her name?"

"To me she was always Lily Evans, but when she died she was Lily Potter. What about you?"

"Not really. No one my age is worth it. They still think with their dicks. When did you lose you virginity?"

"To my dad on my eleventh birthday." So that's why he was doing this for me. He really did get my situation.

"I lost mine to my dad to. The first birthday I had after my mom died. Who did you first willingly sleep with?"

"A girl named Sarah Willow. She was a year older than I was. No I never slept with Lily either. Who was yours?"

"Charlie Weasley. He was the closest thing to a man I've ever done."

"I get to ask you some questions, too. What's the story behind your tattoo?" My tattoo was famous. It was a pair of wings that stretched from my shoulder blades down to my wrists. Everyone in the school had seen it.

"I got it the day after my mom was killed. I had an uncle who did tattoos and I convinced him to let me get one. My dad hates it. Do you have a tattoo?" I looked over at him. He looked like he was battling with something inside. Finally he sighed and looked back at me.

"Look I don't really know how you will react to this, but I can understand if it makes you want to leave. Just please don't scream." What the hell? He started rolling up the sleeve of his left arm and I saw it. The skull with a snake coming out of it. It was the same one my mom had told me about. The one that meant evil. It was the dark mark. But Severus was good, he wasn't bad at all. He must be an _ex_-Deatheater.

"When did you get it?"

"When I was sixteen. It was that same year that Lily married Potter. I was just being a stupid child."

"So was I when I got mine. You just had more consequences. What did you have against Potter?"

"He and his friends made my life a living hell. They were always there to add insult to injury. They tried to kill me once too."

"What? How?"

"One of his friends was a werewolf and his other friend was Sirius Black. Black told me how to get into where they were hiding the wolf during the full moon and I went there thinking it was something else. I almost had my head ripped off."

"Boys at school have gotten really violent with me, too. When I say I won't sleep with them or when I break up with them. Everything in my life started going downhill when my mom died." He looked mad again for a moment.

"How did she die?"

"She was murdered by a muggle while going home from a play. He was trying to take her money, but she only had our money, so he ended up getting her wedding ring."

"My mom was killed by my dad. Then he killed himself."

"How old are you? When is your birthday?" He looked over at me and smiled. His sleeve was still rolled up.

"I'm twenty-five. My birthday is August seventh. Yours?"

"October 31st, that's how I got my middle name. Alison Tourmaline Grey. What's your middle name?"

"Tobias. It was my father's name." Severus's face got dark again.

"Can I call you Sev?"

"Depends, can I call you Ali?"

"No, but you can call me Angel. That's what my mom used to call me. That's why I chose angel wings for my tattoo."

"Angel. It fits you. It works with your eyes. They were the first thing that I noticed about you. Yes, you can call me Sev." He finished his coffee and lay down on the porch. I sipped at the last of my coffee. I lay down, too. "You were different from all the other first years."

"Yeah, I had breasts." He let out some air, obviously trying to hold back laughter. I knew that he had noticed that. He had really noticed it the last few years.

"That wasn't what I was talking about. All of the other first years were terrified of me. You started treating me like shit on the bottom of your shoe by your first potions class."

"Well it was your own fault! You were just too much fun. It was easy to annoy you and you looked cool when you were angry."

"Was that a complement or an insult?"

"Both."

"What did you first think of me? Besides greasy old git, I mean." Oops, was I that obvious?

"Actually I didn't think that until later. At first I didn't really think anything about you; I just had to know everything there was to know about your life. You interested me. I wondered why your hair looked greasy, even though it really wasn't-"

"How would you know that?" He looked over at me, smiling.

"Remember when we ran into each other and I knocked you over. I moved your head to see if you were alive and I felt your hair. It was actually kind of nice." Why the hell did I just say that out loud?

"What else did you think about me?" Sev turned on his side to look at me.

"I thought about how you look like you would be related to Roman people and how nice your eyes were. They're the opposite of mine. Isn't that rad?"

"They are aren't they? I try not to look into mirrors that much. For some reason they keep breaking…" Holy fucking hell! Severus Snape just made a joke at his own expense!

"Don't talk down to yourself. You look good. Roman profile, long black hair, perfect skin, broad shoulders. I've seen that you have some muscle on you as well, from the when I ran into you in the bath room." He stopped smiling and stood up. He walked back to the door before looking back at me over his shoulder.

"But it's just not good enough, is it?" Then he slammed the door closed behind him.

* * *

After another few hours of solid thinking I decided to go to bed. I shuffled into the house and up the stairs. What was up with that man? I complement him on how he looks and he turns into a total dickhead!

In the hallway upstairs, I could hear a muffled voice. I walked towards Sev's room, the door was open just a crack. I pushed on it lightly and looked inside. Sev was tossing and turning in his sleep, talking hurriedly.

"Don't touch her…I'm here to…save you…Angel…Angel…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He yelled in his sleep. He was having a nightmare about me. About saving me. I ran over to his bed and tried to hold his shoulders down. He half opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Angel…you're safe…" He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. I stiffened in his arms. What was going on? He pulled me up and pressed his lips to mine, kissing me more gently than anyone ever had before. I subconsciously closed my eyes. When he pulled back I opened them. He was only half awake. His mind still dreaming while his body was acting. I detached myself from his arms and left the room. I knew that he really did mean it, even if he didn't do it consciously. The subconscious doesn't lie.

A/N- Oh. My. God. That took forever to write. Please review it!!! Luv and hugs to all who do!


	4. Sev's POV

Chapter 4-Sev's POV

_Yes this is just because I feel like it. This is just Sev's thoughts about what has happened so far in the story, so everything has already happened. I think these things are called a hiatus. VERY SHORT!!!_

Three months ago, if anyone had told me that I would be spending my winter holiday with Alison Grey I would have laughed in their faces, well before I hexed them off. But now everything is hard to imagine without her.

When she arrived for her fifth year, I immediately noticed that something had changed. Not just physically, which believe me, I had never thought she could even get more developed, but something about the way that she acted, just seemed different. Of course the skeptical part of me said that I was just imagining things. But no matter what I did, I couldn't stop looking at her. And she noticed the moment she saw me.

When I gave her the detention, I really intended to do nothing but give her detention. I had no idea what was going to happen. I was livid when she left, after telling me about her father. That bastard! The back parts of my mind constantly asked me why I cared for the next couple weeks, and the logical part of my mind always yelled back that it was because she was in the same position that I had been in. That it was because she was a student and I was her teacher that was supposed to protect her. It was the part of my mind that I had worked so hard to silence, that part was what scared me the most. Because whenever I started to argue with myself over this dilemma, it was that voice that kept whispering, _Love_.

It was that night that the dreams started. That particular dream was rather tame comparably, but it scared me none the less. In the dream Alison was serving her detention with me again. When I went into the store closet, she was singing and putting away the jars just like she had been in reality. But instead of crouching down into that little ball when I reached over her, she turned around and pressed her lips to mine. I kissed her back. When I woke up I was screaming.

Finally it was time for the holidays and I had almost pushed all thought of her from my head, until I saw that ugly brown bird. When she read that letter, I knew. She was to go home for Christmas. I couldn't let that happen. I tried to convince myself to go to Dumbledore and ask him to do something, but my mind always told me that he could see through people like glass. I wasted a week and a half just arguing with myself, until finally I could walk up to his office and tell him about what was going on. He told me to take the holiday off after I went to get Alison.

When I saw her sitting alone outside, in the freezing wind, my heart stopped. She looked weak and strong, sad and not ready to give up, tragic and beautiful. Her father was a pig. He could tell that I knew, and he knew that I would protect Alison at all costs. She decided to stay with me for the holiday, and it only got harder to keep the voice in my mind silent about why that made me happy.

I was scared when she first woke up completely delirious. Then when she woke up again and she was on the defensive, I was just so confused. I had no idea what I had said that was the wrong thing, which made me frustrated as well. As she grabbed on to my back I froze, uncertain to what she was doing. Her words dug like knives into my mind. _Please don't go. I don't want to be alone. I'll be a good girl. No more yelling. I'll do whatever you want, just please don't leave. I don't want to be alone. _Knowing how dangerous I was to her, made my heart melt.

I hadn't meant to yell at Alison when she walked in on me in the bathroom, I was just surprised. When she had told me what her father had done to her I was almost relieved that she had run away from memory and instinct and not because she was scarred of me. I didn't have control over myself when I reached out to her, I was just trying to be comforting. I had never met anyone as difficult as she was.

By the time we had our talk session on the back porch, even my logic was doubting whether or not I was in love with her. Hearing all of those things about her and telling her all of those things about me, it was something that I hadn't done in a long time. It was nice. When we started talking about what we noticed about each other I got worried. I really wanted to know what she thought about me. I don't really know why I got so mad as she started to talk about how she thought I looked good. It just made me feel helpless, pathetic, unwanted. I was so confused that I let the emotions get the better of me and I said what I was thinking.

I had such a strange dream that night. I walked in on her father raping her. I stopped it, but she was mad at me for some reason. Then she came over to me and I said she was safe, then I kissed her. That's when I knew I loved her.

_A/N – so do you think that I should do more of the story in Sev's point of view??? I need answers! The next chappy may take some time, though…_


	5. Who Will I Go Home With?

Chapter 5-

I went through the next day without talking to Sev. I just couldn't face him. Was I in love with him? I was attached to him sure, but _love_? How was I supposed to know what it would feel like to be in love? At six I went down into the kitchen to get something to eat and of course Sev was there. I walked by him without looking and took a glass from one of the cabinets.

"I'm sorry for getting upset last night." If only that was the problem.

"Apology accepted." My voice was betraying me, letting my emotions through and poisoning my words. I turned around to look at Sev, only to see him looking back at me.

"I was just dealing with a lot of emotion. I didn't mean to be snide with you." I know you didn't. Oh God, how I know you didn't!

"_A lot of emotion_. Yeah, that's easy to believe. Look at how much emotion you've shown me in the last five years, _Professor_." I can't deal with this. Fighting is the only way I know how to live.

"I thought we had gotten through this already! I was just trying to be your teacher. Now that I'm helping you, I - "

"I never asked you to help me! Just like I never asked you to kiss me, but you still did that, too." I had started to scream at him.

"What do you mean I kissed you?" He jumped from his chair, yelling as well.

"Wake up, genius! Last night wasn't a dream, you really did kiss me!" He just breathed for a few moments before sitting back down. "Now why would you do that, huh?" I spoke low and gave each word venom.

"Maybe because I love you?" I walked over to the chair where my purse and coat sat.

"Yeah, just like my dad loves me." I grabbed my purse, my coat, and my courage and left.

Outside, in the clear winter, night air I could think clearly. I had nowhere to. So just like everyone else who has nowhere to go, I looked at my options and chose the one that seemed like it would be more fun. I needed to go somewhere dangerous. Somewhere where no one knew me, and no one needed to know me. I had to find a night club. Actually first I had to find a store that was still open, so that I could find a sexy outfit, so that anyone would let me in anywhere. I walked fearlessly through the streets until I found an open boutique. I looked around and tried a few dresses on, waiting till I found the perfect one. And I did. A blood red, halter top, sack dress. I bought it and a pair of matching red lace up heals.

I surveyed the rest of my body. I needed a haircut. Attached to the boutique there was a salon that I entered silkily. One of the young ladies came over and sat me down at a chair then began as soon as I told her what I wanted. When I came back out my hair was shorter than it had been since I was four. the back was curly and boy-cut while the front was straightened side-sweep bangs. Now I was ready.

Outside it was easy to find a club and get in. I had done this little stunt tons of times already. No one ever thought I was as young as I was. I followed a huge group of college kids, blending in by attaching myself to one of the hottest of the group. Couldn't settle for less no could I?

Once inside I left the group, had a drink, and lost myself. It was easy really. You tell no one your name and let the darkness of the room become you. You don't dance by listening to the music, you dance by being the music. And then you're gone. It's amazing how much better everything is as long as you don't know who you are anymore.

"Hey! Can I buy you a drink?" A hot guy sitting with his college friends was checking me out intently. Had he been the one I came in with? I couldn't remember, I hadn't really looked at that guy, except to make sure that he met my standards. This guy certainly did. Long blonde hair, tall, descent muscle. I could deal with this.

"Why not?" His friends patted him on the back, already drunk. He stood from the table, which was right next to the bar, and I bouncily walked over to him.

"What's your name?" This guy may be hot, but he definitely didn't know the rules of the game.

"What do you want it to be?" We came to the bar and I pointed to one of the drinks I saw being drunk.

"Ashley it is then. I'm Jason. How old are you? I'm twenty-two." He wouldn't have offered to buy me a drink if he thought I was actually old enough to get one.

"Guess. It doesn't really matter anyway."

"Seventeen?" Close enough.

"Perfect." My drink came and he paid. We walked back to his table and as soon as I finished my drink, we were back on the dance floor again. He could dance, I would give him that. But no one in this building could dance like I could. Everywhere there were girls with the same general type of dress on as me, but they all wore leggings. Ha ha! Yeah, like I would ever cover up my legs in a club. They all were giving me jealous looks. Good. They should be. This place was certainly doing its job for me. I hadn't thought about Sev since I came in.

Jason, who was dancing in front of me, nodded his head towards some of the doors, that I guessed lead to other rooms. I knew what he wanted. I was used to it by now. I gave him a sly smile and followed him to one of the doors. On the other side it was a bathroom, a _men's room_. He hoisted me up onto the sink and pressed his mouth to mine. He tasted like cheep beer. I snaked my fingers through his hair and allowed his tongue into my mouth. He squeezed in closer to me, wrapping his hands around the back of my neck and untying my dress. Unfortunately for him, there another slip underneath that.

"Angel!" Jason shot away from me at Sev's voice. I looked over at Sev slowly. "I have been looking everywhere for you! After everything that's happened I find you here tonguing some college muggle?"

"Language, Sev!" I dismounted the sink and walked over to him seductively. "You're only jealous. You wouldn't be so mad if you didn't want to be tonguing me, too." I put my hands on his chest, my heals making me a lot taller. I rubbed against his body and I knew he could feel me through his muggle jeans. I got so close to him that my lips were brushing the fine airs on his jaw. "

"Alison…"

"You want to have your mouth pressed to mine. You want to know what it's like to be inside of me. You want to know what it's like to have me make you come. And you want to make me orgasm, too." I whispered everything huskily into his ear. He gripped my hips and pushed me away.

"I want you to come back home Angel."

"Too bad for you, dude. She's with me." We both glared at Jason.

"You say another word, and you lose which ever digit you care about most." Jason yelped and ran out of the small bathroom. Sev can be so scary to people that aren't me. He looked back down at me as the door slammed. "I'm not having this conversation in a bathroom. Tie your dress and we are getting out of here."

"My stuff is still at his table." I tied my dress back up and led Sev out of eh bathroom. As I grabbed my purse and coat from Jason's table I looked at him and mouthed sorry. Then I turned and walked out with Sev. He apparated us back to the house. Inside I shrugged off my coat and leaned against a wall of the kitchen.

"Angel, when I was looking for you I had a lot of time to think. The fact that I love you can't be changed, but it doesn't have to affect anything. I can go back to not being a part of your life." Sev was looking down as he spoke. It made me feel worse.

"But that's not what you want."

"No, it's not."

"Then don't say it. I don't know why you are trying to give up, but I am not going to stand for it. Giving up is what lost you the last girl and I'm not going to end up like her. Besides that, I don't want you out of my life either." He looked up at me, hopefull.

"What do you mean by that?"

"It means I think…I might be in love with you, too." Not just might. There was no denying that I loved him. Not many people I knew would have come after me, just to say that they loved me. He walked over to me and tilted my head up. This time when he pressed his lips to mine there was a certain strength to his actions. For once it didn't scare me. He reached his hands up to hold my face and deepened the kiss. Then he suddenly pulled back, worried.

"What, Sev?"

"Can we…?" Oh. My. God. He is so fucking adorable!

"Of course we can. What do you think I was planning on doing with that boy in the club?" He smiled and pulled my mouth to his again before leading me upstairs. We went to his room which had the bigger bed. He pushed the door open and pulled me inside. He turned around for a moment to take off his shirt, and when he turned back around I jumped on him. He fell back onto the bed and I slid my tongue into his mouth. He groaned into me and I expertly shifted my hips to rub against him. I would make him scream for release before I was done. He untied my dress and rolled his weight so that I ended up on the bottom. As he slid of my dress and slip, he kissed his way along my jaw. He slowly lowered his head to the indentation at the base of my neck and sucked softly. I let out a small husky moan.

He came back up and gave me a small peck on the mouth before tending to my nipples. I moaned louder and louder before I moved him back onto his knees. He looked down at me quizzically. Well, until I blocked his face with dozens of kisses. And started undoing his pants. I had done this so many times, yet this was so different. With boys, they wanted everything to happen fast. There was no fun, no suspense, just jumping into the climax. This was going to be different. I lightly brushed his hard manhood. He groaned deeply and grabbed my shoulders. His hands raked over my back as I stroked him harder. I kissed my way down his smooth chest and slipped his pants father down. I licked and kissed my way around his cock, taking my sweet time. I really didn't like sucking, it just felt weird to me. But I would do almost anything else. I licked the length of his erection, stealing pleasure from his loud moans. He was getting harder.

"Oh, God, Angel!" I rubbed my way back up his body, snaking my hands around his neck.

"Just say it, love." I smiled into his neck and sucked along one of the tight muscles.

"I – huh – need to be – inside you." I wove my hands through his hair and kissed him deeply. He slid his pants the rest of the way off and pushed me back down. As he entered me I was in ecstasy. He filled me completely and was steady and looked like he was in heaven. I rotated my hips and watched him yell. God, he was beautiful. He arched his neck back and his hair fell wildly across his face. His chest was hairless and chiseled with a hard past. He was gorgeous through and through. I traced over the scars on his shoulders and chest and he continued to thrust into me, harder and faster. He brought me closer and closer to climax as he brought himself, and we both were lost. His come was hot and warmed me even more than my own climax had.

He pulled out of me, panting and exhausted. He held himself on hands and knees, just looking at me. I flipped over onto my back and he finally collapsed. I listened to him roll over and put his arm around me. With his other arm he traced all the way over my tattoo.

"I love you, Angel."

"I love you, Sev."


End file.
